Rooted in Assurance

Murphy's Law: a supposed law of nature, expressed in various humorous popular sayings, to the effect that anything that can go wrong will go wrong.  Murphy's Law is the law of the land when your spouse heads out of town. Whether it be Uncle Sam that takes them away, a business trip, urgent family matters, or even a getaway weekend with friends. When you are by yourself for those few days what can go wrong, will go wrong.  Since I'm a military spouse though, that's what I can speak on. When a temporary duty assignment away from home comes up, the faucet will break, your car will flash on a check engine light, and your pets and children will decide havoc is their middle name.  I recently had one of those days. Our baby was fussy for several days, and it's bittersweet. I won't lie and say solo parenting is a breeze, it does have its challenges. But we also know it won't be like this for long. After a long day in the office, I bring her home and set in to nurse ...

In college, I created this graphic of Proverbs 31, quoting, "She is clothed in strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future." I always thought Proverbs 31 was this standard and checklist for wives, and WOW have I realized I fall short of that.  If marriage in this short span so far has taught me anything, I am far from enough to be everything for my husband. But that's not what my husband expects of me. I can, however, seek the wisdom of the Lord by reading scripture and prayerfully asking God for his guidance. Does that mean I'm successful in that every day? NO! But I'm learning.  Sometimes, I do fear the future, I don't feel all that strong, and I'm so clumsy I feel far from dignified. I believe the lies that the military dictates our future, that I'm too weak to make the decisions and handle things, that I am going to constantly fail.  In true military fashion, my husband and I had a matter of weeks together after our wedding befor...

What happens when you love a boy who doesn't love Jesus? What if a boy doesn't like you back? How do you decide to say yes or no to a first date? Well. What is the purpose of dating? Of course you can have fun, go on dates and enjoy the company of another person. But what is your reason for doing these things? Do you just want attention? Do you feel lonely? Do you want to invest in another person and learn about them? I once heard someone say that when you start dating you either marry the person or break up. Which, honestly, sounds a little fatalistic, doesn't it? But there is truth. Now that doesn't mean don't date, ever. But it does mean that there should be some thoughtful consideration in how we approach dating. As someone who has done this very very imperfectly, I don't want to sound like I have it all together or magically have more wisdom. However, I do want to walk through how we can biblically consider dating.  So if I view dating through the lens of e...

"I'm not in love, I'm just in love with the idea of love." When I was in middle school, my dad's wife bought me this adorable sweater with the above quote on it. Laughably accurate, how many of us go through that boy crazy phase growing up? Or maybe still are in it? Sometimes it feels like there is pressure, even as a young girl, to find this soulmate. At some churches, well-meaning adults ask about that boy they saw you sit next to in church. You know how it is, you sat together so you're, you know, "together." "When's the wedding?" they ask after the first month of dating.  Most of the time it's just good-natured jokes, but unwittingly an expectation begins to form. You begin to believe a lie that you are somehow spiritually inferior if you are not yoked to another; somehow marriage is a higher level in the quest to pursue God.  But if this is the case, what about Paul? The man who wrote so much of our New Testament was spirituall...

Alexa, play Toxic by Britney Spears.  Usually my blog posts are a reflection on theology or cultural tensions I've observed. However, for this one, I wanted to take a more light-hearted look at the dating/life experiences of my friends and myself.  A little context as we explore this: In college I made some... Interesting dating choices. I also watched my friends have heartbreak after heartbreak as we overgrown children entered a new world of vulnerability and emotions. Together, we brainstormed an idea for a book about these experiences, originally titled "Red Flags: A memoir in dating." Now, this idea has evolved and I'm applying the concept to a series of blogposts, beginning with this one.  For the purpose of this specific post, my goal is to introduce the topic and do a cursory look at observations of dating using an app. Also, as I am a female, and majority of my friends are also female, I'm looking at our interactions with guys. My plan is for this to be a ...

"Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things."  – Colossians 3:2 These days our world is seemingly turned upside down as organization after organization issues cancellations and warnings "out of abudance of caution."  As a person required to communicate in order to earn a paycheck, I must admit I'm bothered it doesn't say "out of AN abundance of caution." But maybe that's a little too Hermione Granger to point out.  Lighthearted and nerdy humor aside, this doesn't feel at all like a laughing matter. There are people losing their livelihood, students facing the reality of having to leave communities behind without so much as a goodbye, and families coping with a new normal.  New normal. What does that even mean? It feels a lot like the new circumstances we find ourselves in – online school or work, cancelled social events and entertainment, and shortages – will last for the rest of our lives. It feels like the ...

If you've spent any amount of time on social media since the Super Bowl, you've seen a firestorm of debate over the half-time show.  Some put others on blast, saying white people are racists who have no love for other cultures. Others will say the show was vastly over-sexualized and of zero value. Before I give my opinion, I just wanted to share a little background. If you don't know me, I'm a Texas-born Florida gal. I've moved a lot since then, but I spent 16 years on the coast of Florida. I also spent 17 summers in Southern California living with my grandma on the coast of San Clemente.  I understand I am incredibly blessed (I'll admit, spoiled) to have these experiences. But what they taught me most is a love for other cultures.  Throughout my childhood I was also a dancer.  My mom, Sandy, danced for the San Antonio Spurs before I was born, so growing up she always encouraged a love for Texas and a love for music.  Now, Texans ar...

This week, my 6 month old brother was sick for the first time. Coughing. Sneezing. Drooling. Messy. Of course, my initial reaction is to dote. To hold. To wipe away the mess and just hold him close. My heart breaking with every cough. His head is still too heavy for him, so every once in a while he quickly leans forward, his face colliding with mine. A sloppy, messy, drool and germ infested mouth collides with my cheek. A sloppy wet kiss, if you will. I am reminded of John Mark McMillan's song, "How He Loves." " So we are His portion and He is our prize, Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes. If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking. So Heaven meets Earth like a sloppy wet kiss And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,  I don't have time to maintain these regrets  when I think about the way. . . That he loves us" Our walk with the Lord is so messy. How often do I come to my Heavenly Father a (barely) walk...

"The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?" -Audrey Hepburn Tendrils of sunlight break through the edges of the curtains, speckling the floor and bed. The warmth finally killing the thousand days of rain and cold. But even the sunshine can't end the unexplainable feelings swirling inside like a thunderstorm. I started this post back in the spring as I adjusted to life in a new state and community, but I couldn't seem to find my words. I felt like I had been silenced and the passion that drives my writing disappeared. The fears of past hurts and mistakes at times still haunt me. I can't shake the feeling that as soon as I start to enjoy my life, everything is going to come crashing down around me. I felt like anything I wrote wou...

Paradigm Shift: noun. an important change that happens when the usual way of thinking about or doing something is replaced by a new and different way. Hot take: I enjoy country music, but I think Luke Bryan is the worst thing to happen to the genre. Music, and media in general, often influences culture and the way we think and interact with others. We create paradigms, viewing the world through colored lenses which taint our perspectives and identities. Contrary to Luke Bryan’s song “Most People are Good,” nobody is inherently good. The Bible tells us our hearts are desperately wicked and beyond cure (Jeremiah 17:9). From birth, you don’t have to teach a kid how to steal from the cookie jar or lie to parents. You do, however, have to provide loving rules, consequences and rewards. It is also possible to be a nice person and not be good. God defines “good” differently than we do: the Bible also tells us that our best works are no better than filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). Filthy ...

My brother, Caleb, at the University of North Georgia. This week, he will commission into the National Guard as an Infantry Officer. He has also served as a combat engineer in the Georgia National Guard since 2015. “I hear people saying we don’t need this war I say there’s some things worth fighting for What about our freedom and this piece of ground We didn’t get to keep ’em by backing down They say we don’t realize the mess we’re getting in Before you start your preaching Let me ask you this my friend, Have you forgotten how it felt that day To see your homeland under fire” -Darryl Worley Coming from a military family, I am often asked what it’s like to have family overseas, or to grow up with a dad in the Air Force. Having a boyfriend deployed in Afghanistan, my friends will often say, “Oh I could never, I’m not strong enough.” But the thing is, you just do it. February 2011, my big brother, Eric, celebrated his 21st birthday in the middle of a deployment to the Kunar Pro...

I have debated whether or not I should write this, and even how to. My heart is broken. This weekend, amongst the sunshine and singing birds brought by the seemingly endless rain, my friend and brother in Christ was laid to rest. The summer of 2013, I attended a church camp over the summer with my dad’s sister and her family. I didn’t know anyone on this trip besides my cousins, and I was nervous and honestly a little terrified. That week, we had the typical youth camp “emotional worship night.” Feeling a little lost and alone, a motley crew of dudes welcomed me into their friend group, putting their arms around my shoulders as we worshipped our creator. Through them, I discovered what it really meant to have brothers and sisters in Christ; I had been to church several times growing up, even to other youth camps. But that week I really understood grace for the first time, and I am thankful for that goofy group that welcomed me. Shortly after camp, my dad’s sister and her h...

"Don't dig up in doubt what you've planted in faith." -Elisabeth Elliot Happy New Year! And with the opening of another year, let the resolutions begin, right? We've set our goals, excited for a new slate and opportunities to better ourselves, our communities, and maybe even our world. But maybe hard times have already set in, or rolled over from the previous year. Perhaps you're a little jaded from past valleys and failures, unsure of how you can move forward. I know that's how I am feeling right now. I didn't really go into the year quite the way I wanted to. Having just moved to a new state after graduation, and with the passing of my grandma just before Christmas, I have wrestled with my faith. I've struggled to find community and make new friends, to get into a workout routine that keeps me healthy, and to grieve the losses that don't feel real yet. I thought I would know where I was going to law school by now, settled into a...

"Of one thing I am perfectly sure, God's story never ends in ashes." -Elisabeth Elliot As I write this post, I sit in my grandparent's living room with my family. This summer, my gramuver was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer. This week, we brought her home from the hospital in order to begin comfort care for her. It is painful to watch loved ones battle unseen enemies, to face a sea of unknowns, and to wrestle with God and strive to comprehend his goodness. But I am reminded of Elisabeth Elliot's quote, "Of one thing I am perfectly sure, God's story never ends in ashes." Sometimes, the holiday season isn't always what you expect it to be. The things we hoped for, fought for, thought we had already attained, sometimes turn to ashes. Perhaps a relationship ended, a loved one passed away, a job was lost, or other unexpected tragedies occurred. These events can bring us to our knees, no matter the perceived size of pain, by you ...

"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things." - Philippians 4:8. *The topic of this post is mature and is not intended for younger readers* Recently, I've noticed increased debate around several Christmas songs, specifically the classic, "Baby, It's Cold Outside." Many feel that this song encourages rape, referring to the phrase "Say what's in this drink," as well as the consistent back and forth of a woman saying she must leave, and a man convincing her to stay. This debate is nothing new, only it has become increasingly poignant through the lens of the #MeToo movement. But at one point, it was championed by many as a great win for women. So what's the real story? And how should we really be treating this song and others like it? Well. For other millennial...

"This book will keep you from sin, or sin will keep you from this book. Don't allow small seeds to grow into huge plants." -Coach When I was in high school, my uncle (whom I will refer to as Coach for the rest of this post) would meet with students on Friday nights at a local Starbucks. We would sit around a large table on the patio, and ask the tough questions about life and religion. The goal was an open forum, a place anyone could come, regardless of faith, and learn about the Jesus of the Bible. It started small, just our family, but grew over the next two years to over 30 students, ranging in age from middle school to college. During one of those Friday nights, Coach told us something that has stuck with me all these years; I even wrote his words down in the cover of my bible, now falling apart a bit at the binding. "This book is truth. Absolute. This book will keep you from sin, or sin will keep you from this book. Don't allow small seeds to grow ...

“Never look for justice in this world, never cease to give it.”  - Oswald Chambers A few months ago, I wrote a post during the early stages of the Me Too movement on my own experiences. Since then, the movement has only continued to grow as society wrestles with the issues of sexual assault and harassment.  Recently, our culture has almost been at war over the Brett Kavanaugh hearings and what it means for women's rights. I am not here to comment on this situation, we all have opinions but only a few know the facts. I will not put forward an opinion on something I don't have all the information on.  However, I do have questions about how we respond to times like these, especially as christians. What do we do when an accusation is made? In criminal courts, innocence is presumed until guilt can be proven beyond a reasonable doubt. In civil courts, a preponderance of evidence is needed to win a case. If someone is actually guilty of something like sexual a...