Sloppy Wet Kisses

This week, my 6 month old brother was sick for the first time.

Coughing. Sneezing. Drooling.

Messy.

Of course, my initial reaction is to dote. To hold. To wipe away the mess and just hold him close. My heart breaking with every cough.

His head is still too heavy for him, so every once in a while he quickly leans forward, his face colliding with mine. A sloppy, messy, drool and germ infested mouth collides with my cheek.

A sloppy wet kiss, if you will.

I am reminded of John Mark McMillan's song, "How He Loves."

"So we are His portion and He is our prize,

Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes.

If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.

So Heaven meets Earth like a sloppy wet kiss

And my heart turns violently inside of my chest, 

I don't have time to maintain these regrets 

when I think about the way. . .

That he loves us"

Our walk with the Lord is so messy.

How often do I come to my Heavenly Father a (barely) walking mess. My sins threatening to overwhelm me; remembrance of them crippling me.

Sometimes I feel so distant from God though, like my sins prevent me from approaching him. My faith is paper thin and I feel alone.

But then I am reminded that my faith is a beautiful, gracious gift from my Heavenly Father. The Bible tells us in Matthew 7:7-11 that he gives good things to those who ask. He will provide the wisdom you need, generously, and all you have to do is ask in faith (James 1).

Don't take this as some prosperity feel good gospel though.

This side of heaven is broken and we will face trials. There are no holds barred and in the book of James (Jesus' own half-brother), he doesn't sugarcoat for us.

We see this crazy and inscrutable truth that God is good. God is in control. Every good thing is from God. Yet. He cannot be tempted with evil and He does not tempt us, that comes from our own wicked hearts and desires.

But if we pursue God, he will give us the desires of our heart (Psalm 37:4). Not that he will necessarily answer yes to your prayer. But He will create within you a new heart, with new desires.

"Create in me a clean heart O God, and renew a right sprit within me. cast me not away from your presence. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit." -Psalm 51: 10-12

Did you know David wrote this after his affair with Bathsheba? A married woman, he lusted after her. He was at home, instead of on the battlefield as a King should be, and he fell to temptation and had an affair. Not only that, but then faced with the repercussions of his sin, he had her husband, one of his own soldiers, killed.

Hearing something like that, immediately it's so easy to judge and condemn David. How dare this man, the one referred to as one after God's own heart (Acts 13:22, 1 Samuel 13:14), the one who defeated Goliath, the one who's first words in scripture were those filled with the Holy Spirit, declaring God's glory (1 Samuel 17:26).

But you see, God can redeem all things, even our greatest sin. Our greatest tragedies can be used to bring God glory.

Hold on.

My mess. My sins. My greatest regrets. He can redeem those? He can bring out something good?

Don't let the beauty of his words and his grace just pass lazily through your brain.

"Oh that we might know the Lord! Let us press on to know him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring." Hosea 6:3

"And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart." Ezekiel 36:26

It's easy to believe lies about God's goodness and His power when the present circumstances feel heavy. When the fears, the lies and the temptations feel like the only reality you know, your best weapon is the scripture you hide within your heart and the desperate prayer to Jesus. The name of Jesus is power.

He will restore your faith. He is pursuing you, sweet child of God. You are weak yes, but His grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9). No sin of yours is too messy or too great for Him. Our sloppy, messy world collides with Heaven in beautiful authenticity.

So. My challenge to you is to really dive into the Bible. Learn to memorize scripture. It's hard. I know. But it's so worthwhile. Set it as a background on your phone so you can read it. Post it on a wall, above your desk, on the mirror in the bathroom, the visor of your car (just don't read and drive, folks!).  Find some friends to hold you accountable, get real about your sins and struggles, and pursue Christ whole-heartedly in a loving community.