Rooted in Assurance

This week, my 6 month old brother was sick for the first time. Coughing. Sneezing. Drooling. Messy. Of course, my initial reaction is to dote. To hold. To wipe away the mess and just hold him close. My heart breaking with every cough. His head is still too heavy for him, so every once in a while he quickly leans forward, his face colliding with mine. A sloppy, messy, drool and germ infested mouth collides with my cheek. A sloppy wet kiss, if you will. I am reminded of John Mark McMillan's song, "How He Loves." " So we are His portion and He is our prize, Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes. If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking. So Heaven meets Earth like a sloppy wet kiss And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,  I don't have time to maintain these regrets  when I think about the way. . . That he loves us" Our walk with the Lord is so messy. How often do I come to my Heavenly Father a (barely) walk

"The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?" -Audrey Hepburn Tendrils of sunlight break through the edges of the curtains, speckling the floor and bed. The warmth finally killing the thousand days of rain and cold. But even the sunshine can't end the unexplainable feelings swirling inside like a thunderstorm. I started this post back in the spring as I adjusted to life in a new state and community, but I couldn't seem to find my words. I felt like I had been silenced and the passion that drives my writing disappeared. The fears of past hurts and mistakes at times still haunt me. I can't shake the feeling that as soon as I start to enjoy my life, everything is going to come crashing down around me. I felt like anything I wrote wou

Paradigm Shift: noun. an important change that happens when the usual way of thinking about or doing something is replaced by a new and different way. Hot take: I enjoy country music, but I think Luke Bryan is the worst thing to happen to the genre. Music, and media in general, often influences culture and the way we think and interact with others. We create paradigms, viewing the world through colored lenses which taint our perspectives and identities. Contrary to Luke Bryan’s song “Most People are Good,” nobody is inherently good. The Bible tells us our hearts are desperately wicked and beyond cure (Jeremiah 17:9). From birth, you don’t have to teach a kid how to steal from the cookie jar or lie to parents. You do, however, have to provide loving rules, consequences and rewards. It is also possible to be a nice person and not be good. God defines “good” differently than we do: the Bible also tells us that our best works are no better than filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). Filthy

My brother, Caleb, at the University of North Georgia. This week, he will commission into the National Guard as an Infantry Officer. He has also served as a combat engineer in the Georgia National Guard since 2015. “I hear people saying we don’t need this war I say there’s some things worth fighting for What about our freedom and this piece of ground We didn’t get to keep ’em by backing down They say we don’t realize the mess we’re getting in Before you start your preaching Let me ask you this my friend, Have you forgotten how it felt that day To see your homeland under fire” -Darryl Worley Coming from a military family, I am often asked what it’s like to have family overseas, or to grow up with a dad in the Air Force. Having a boyfriend deployed in Afghanistan, my friends will often say, “Oh I could never, I’m not strong enough.” But the thing is, you just do it. February 2011, my big brother, Eric, celebrated his 21st birthday in the middle of a deployment to the Kunar Pro

I have debated whether or not I should write this, and even how to. My heart is broken. This weekend, amongst the sunshine and singing birds brought by the seemingly endless rain, my friend and brother in Christ was laid to rest. The summer of 2013, I attended a church camp over the summer with my dad’s sister and her family. I didn’t know anyone on this trip besides my cousins, and I was nervous and honestly a little terrified. That week, we had the typical youth camp “emotional worship night.” Feeling a little lost and alone, a motley crew of dudes welcomed me into their friend group, putting their arms around my shoulders as we worshipped our creator. Through them, I discovered what it really meant to have brothers and sisters in Christ; I had been to church several times growing up, even to other youth camps. But that week I really understood grace for the first time, and I am thankful for that goofy group that welcomed me. Shortly after camp, my dad’s sister and her h

"Don't dig up in doubt what you've planted in faith." -Elisabeth Elliot Happy New Year! And with the opening of another year, let the resolutions begin, right? We've set our goals, excited for a new slate and opportunities to better ourselves, our communities, and maybe even our world. But maybe hard times have already set in, or rolled over from the previous year. Perhaps you're a little jaded from past valleys and failures, unsure of how you can move forward. I know that's how I am feeling right now. I didn't really go into the year quite the way I wanted to. Having just moved to a new state after graduation, and with the passing of my grandma just before Christmas, I have wrestled with my faith. I've struggled to find community and make new friends, to get into a workout routine that keeps me healthy, and to grieve the losses that don't feel real yet. I thought I would know where I was going to law school by now, settled into a