Pure Joy in the midst of Grief

 

    November 14, 2016, at 1:27 AM my family welcomed my sweet niece, Aurora "Rory" Paige into the world, and God blessed us with two amazing weeks with our warrior princess . To God's glory, we are still witnessing the impact her life had on those around her.   I can't speak for the rest of my family or our friends and the lessons they learned from this beautiful girl, but I can share what God has laid on my heart during this time.

  Rory was a fighter, our miracle, overcoming what seemed like insurmountable odds. You see, not only was she premature at 31 weeks (and just 1 lb 15 oz), but my niece was diagnosed with a rare disease known as Trisomy 18, or Edwards Syndrome. Rory was born with an extra chromosome, much like Down Syndrome, except, for our tiny warrior, this meant that her organs did not form as they should. This is a rare, and random, genetic defect caused by meiotic disjunction, a problem in cell division.

  There was nothing that could have prevented it. Sometimes, bad things happen. Sometimes, hard things we cannot comprehend threaten to overwhelm us. We live in a broken and sinful world, we will face intense suffering because of sin, and yet, we are not done yet. This is not it for us.

  One day, I will see Rory again, and she will have a perfectly healthy, glorified body. She will have a personality, and she will teach me to worship the perfect One who created us.

Pause. Think. Abide in Christ. The World would tell us that Rory was imperfect, some doctors actually suggest to "terminate" babies like her, that Trisomy 18 is not compatible with life. But then I remember Psalm 139:13, we are knit together in our mother's womb, our inmost being known by a sovereign creator. God, the same creator of the oceans, the mountains, the vastness of the universe, knit Rory together, in her mother's womb, perfect. What? But. She had defects, she came too soon, left too soon, how could this be His plan?

  It's not for us to know His reasons, but what I do know is this: my family has found reconciliation because of Rory's life. People heard the gospel because of her, trusted in God in ways you couldn't imagine. Joy was found in the tribulation.

  It's not easy to consider the grief we face as pure joy. I'll be honest, I weep as I write this post. For those who know me, you know I'm an exceedingly emotional person, on both ends of the spectrum, from uncontrollable and unceasing laughter to straight ugly cry. But I am reminded of James 1, that we are to consider it pure joy when we face testing of various kinds.

What even is pure joy? A wise friend once described to me the memory of visiting a young child caught in the worst of circumstances. The little girl was overjoyed to see my friend, and ran to her. My friend swept up the little girl, and spun her around, sunlight glinting on them, almost blinding. Picturesque, a scene from a movie. The joy on the child was apparent, contagious. We each can think of a picture-perfect moment that exemplifies pure joy. But does that mean we aren't allowed to feel pain in the trial?

Oh my, no. Jesus wept for goodness sake.  It's okay to be in pain, to admit hurt, and grief, and sorrow. But the key is to not get stuck there. We will struggle and toil, lies will deceive us at times. But God is sufficient. He can satisfy the deepest needs. Run to him, weary soul, and he will provide the rest you need. He will provide us with the comfort we need. You are not alone.

Above and Below: Tender moments captured of our Warrior Princess