Renewed

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day" -2 Corinthians 4:16

Working at a summer camp is at the same time one of the most exhausting and rewarding challenges an individual can experience while in college. You learn humility as you serve those around you and little lives are placed in your hands. It's actually really terrifying: parents entrust you with their children and tell you to have a nice day. Meanwhile, you are monitoring these kids as they climb over 50 feet in the air, making sure they don't drown at the pool, and let's be honest, keeping your emotions in check as they ask for the hundredth time (you think I'm kidding) "what are we doing next?" It's sassy, it's sanctifying, and its satisfying.

I live for the little moments: the beautiful, gospel moments when a kid gets it. The sweet (exhausting) moment when you're sitting there after playing capture the saber (flag), laser tag, or freedom soccer, and you ask them what (what happened), so what (why does this matter), and now what (how does this apply to their everyday life). Suddenly, the light goes on; they see God in everything. Or it's the moment when you're overwhelmed by the day, questioning every life choice and unsure of how you could possibly walk another step, and you see your camper serving another, carrying each other's bags and loving in a way that only comes from Jesus. Suddenly, everything is worthwhile, the heat is no longer as oppressive, your body is a little less exhausted, and the joy comes a little easier.

You quickly realize that as much as you desire for the kid's to adore you and look up to you, it is not about you at all. There isn't a step you can take without God's strength. And he is fully capable and fully sufficient to provide all you need.

Thankfully, God's power isn't just confined to camp. He is sufficient in all things and if we believe in him, he will renew us day, by day, by day. He will renew more than just our physical strength, as we age and become weaker, he will sustain us. Yahweh, Elohim, the King of Kings will renew you spiritually as well.

Earlier this year, I had an experience that caused me to break and falter in a way I had never known. I felt as if I would never know what it meant to be whole again. If camp has taught me anything, it is that God will renew me, he will heal me, and he has called me his. I am his daughter, his beloved child. There is freedom to be found, joy to be known, and love to be felt. I am reminded of a sermon I once heard on the parable of the 5 loaves of bread feeding the 5,000. It takes the broken bread, my life in broken pieces, to feed a multitude. It is not for me to ask why, but how can God use me.

I don't know all the answers, but I walk in faith in the knowledge that he will use me for His Glory. Elisabeth Elliot asked a girl she discipled this question, "What do you want more than anything else in life? God's choices or your own." I most certainly choose Christ, but His plans are not mine. I will trust, however, that his power is sufficient, so I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, that his power would rest upon me (2 Corinthians 12:9).