Broken Expectations

"Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Because He lives, all fear is gone. Because I know He holds the future, and life is worth the living just because He lives."

  The weekend of Easter is a time of reflection, to remember what Christ has done for us and what that means for our lives. It begins with Good Friday, which, when you first think about it, sounds kind of ironic. How could the day Jesus died actually be good? Without his sacrifice, however, there is no resurrection, no victory over sin and death. Because Christ died on the cross for our sins and rose three days later, we can live an eternal life through him, free from our sinful natures and our pasts.

  Saturday is a little more difficult, though. I place myself in the apostle's shoes, I ponder how they must have felt; all of their expectations had been completely destroyed. Jesus told them that he would leave for a while, then come back for a time (John 16). They didn't realize what his words meant, but Jesus left them with the encouragement that though they may be full of sorrow for a time, joy would soon come. When Jesus was crucified on that cross, they felt defeated. They were full of anger, guilt, and pain.

   To fully understand their pain, we can look at the cultural context surrounding the life and death of Jesus. According to "The Drama of Scripture," my textbook for my freshman year biblical studies course (yeah, I know, I still have this book almost three years later), the book of Matthew comes 400 years after the last book of the Old Testament, Malachi. Take a second to process that: the Jews have waited through FOUR HUNDRED years of silence from God. During this time, they are ruled by cruel foreign nation after cruel foreign nation. At which point, we arrive at the Roman rule of Jesus' time. There were many differing beliefs on what the Messiah (anointed one) would look like and what exactly he would do, but there was an overall consensus that he would come to reestablish Israel as God's kingdom. None of them expected Jesus to come as he did, as a humble carpenter with a mission of humility and sacrifice. Many expected him to be a king and warrior, to drive out the pagans and to be a war hero.

   It's easy for us to look at the disciples and Jews of the time and ridicule and judge them. It is easy for us to look at them and question how they could possibly go from welcoming Jesus into Jerusalem as a hero on Sunday, and crucifying him on Friday. We can read the accounts of the Holy week, and scorn those we deem evil and of little faith. But are we really so different?

   When my niece passed away, I was devastated. So many had diligently prayed for healing, and she seemed to be making miraculous improvements. After she passed, I was filled with grief and pain, both for my family and for myself. When our thoughts are left unguarded, it's easy to question God's goodness, or whether He exists at all. How could he ignore my request? Why would he take Rory away so quickly?

  Just because I didn't get the response I wanted does not mean I didn't get an answer at all. I think of eighth grade, asking my parents if I could go to the Avenue to watch the new Transformers movie with my friends. To my dismay, my dad told me no. Just because that was not the answer I had hoped for, does not mean my dad did not exist, or that he's evil and hates me. My dad had reasons and wisdom I did not understand. I'm not comparing my niece's life to pettiness of a missed movie, but I am comparing our petulance, temper tantrums and lack of understanding to that of a child.

  My small group leader explained it this way: I can ask "why" all I want, but my questions may never be satisfied. It is far better to ask "how?" I can ask "Father, how can you use this to glorify you, to make your name known to this broken world?" God's focus is not our temporary happiness, he wants us to have a permanent joy and peace. God cares about our character, and our pursuit of him. We may think we know best based on our limited experience and knowledge, but God asks us to surrender, to give up what's good in order to receive what is best. His definition of best may be different than ours. I may think it's the best thing ever to eat ice cream for dinner. However, my earthly Dad knows that it's much better to be healthy, to eat a balanced meal instead and to go for a run. That may be painful at times, but in the end it makes me stronger, healthier, and more joyful. In the same way the apostles grieved Jesus' death, we wrestle with our own pain and broken expectations. But just like Jesus encouraged the apostles, there is joy to come.

  Which brings us to Easter Sunday. Jesus is alive! "But the angel said to the women, 'Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. He is not here, for he has risen, as he said. Come, see they place where he lay,'" Matthew 28:6. We can rejoice in this truth, that no matter what circumstances come our way, we can already claim victory through Christ. Throughout John 16, Jesus imparts wisdom to his followers for the time to come following Jesus' death and his eventual ascension to heaven.  "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart, I have overcome the world," John 16:33. So, no matter what tomorrow holds, we can hold tight to a peace that surpasses all understanding, a peace not dependent on temporary circumstances, because he lives.